Dungeons of Orkney – Opening Fluff

This is what I’m hoping will be my opening fluff for the game. Page one of the rule book kind of material.


Da Tellin’ – As told by Big Shaman Gha’zak “Stompy Feet”

Nah listen up you’ze lot. ‘Undreds o’ cycles ago, a species known as ‘Oomans was da dominant players on Orkney. It’s said dat dey ‘ad conquered da land and da sea, and dat dere cities even challenged da glory of da Gods. Da ‘Oomans wasn’t big n tough like an Orc, but dey were wry and chock full o more cunning dan a bag of Goblins wiv gearsticks.

Dese folk managed to exist in peace wiv us Orcs for many a cycle until dey discovered da Magika. It began wiv expansion, it always does – new ideas need more room see? An’ when da Orcs refused to give up lands and sacred sites dat had been guarded for generations, da ‘Oomans got twisted out o shape.

We’ze would ‘ear tales back from us scouts, reportin’ whole villages massacred, da bodies o’ Orcs n Goblins strewn about da place, our most sacred lands desecrated…

Well, I’ze don’t need to tell you’ze dat an Orc is not shy of a scrap. All da tribes united under one banner and waged all out war on da ’Oomans.

Dis was not an easy fight, da ‘Oomans had powerful machines made of iron and timba, and burnin’ magika than could level an entire forest o’ oaks. We’ze ‘ad to employ sneaky gorillas tactica usin’ small groups of shock troops and the elemunt o’ suprise.

You know what an Orc sez when ee’s bein’ suprizin? Nah, you wouldn’t. No onez lived to tell da tale ya see?

Anywayz, after a long and damaging war, we’ze finally managed break da back o’ the ‘Ooman forces and after deliberatin’, we swept over dere great cities too, killin’ all dat we found. Da ‘Oomans couldn’t be trusted, an’ we couldn’t allow dem to get powerful again.

When it were all over, as is our way, we collected up da corpses of da most worvy foes an’ we laid dem to rest in a great series o’ dungeons and catacombs. Den for good measure, we’ze set guards at the gates to stop anyone tresspassin’.

Do you know why we’ze did dat? I’ll tell you’ze. Orcs respect a fight see? An’ a good fighter should always be respected regardless o’ iz crimes…


What do you think? Creative writing is really not my area of expertise, so any helpful comments or suggestions below the line would be appreciated 🙂

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